September 2008
47 posts
WatchThe Truth on Miss Marples!
This made me really violent that I was working...
until I saw that none of the museums on the list in Chicago are ones I’d wanna go to ;)
captkevman:
Get thee 2 a museum! http://slickdeals.net/permadeal/14080 <- 2 free tix to a museum TODAY ONLY. Thanks @fascinatingryan for the tip!
GOP declines to have Palin comment on the...
EPIC FAIL
because people have been asking what the new place... →
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #1
1. SEARS
Why does this store exist anymore in it’s current state? I know they make good hardware. fair enough. But if they are going to merge with KMart or get bought by them or whatever happened there, how about we just eliminate everything about Sears that is shitty and send it over to KMart which was shitty to begin with.
When Victor and I were house hunting in KY and came to the mall...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #2
2. 72 hundred jewlery stores.
For starters I don’t really think that mall jewelry store are all that classy. I mean, how sentimental - “We went and picked out our rings and then headed upstairs to 1 Potato 2 for lunch!”
But why does one mall need so many of them? And why are they always grouped up in sets? You see one at a corner, look around and there are 4 others right within...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #3
3. A Food court with places you have never heard of
Arby’s. Wendy’s. McDonald’s. Pizza Hut. KFC. Taco Bell. or Arthur Treacher’s. Q On The Grill. Pizzaaaah.
Take your pick. What the fuck people. I mean Arthur Treachers? C’mon.
The bottom line: Just like you aren’t supposed to take candy from strangers, you aren’t supposed to trust places you have never...
I finally found one
“wednesday august 18th, 2004 10:15 pm Ok, so sometimes I am a bit obsessive compulsive. Only when it comes to music though. I find something I like and I listen to it non stop. Back in the day I would make a mix tape with no mix. Just one continuous loop of the same song for 45 minutes on each side. The tape would eventually wear out. And it’s always for one small, minute detail...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #4
4. The Rogue Rent-a-Cop
This guy pretty much does nothing and meddles in others’ affairs. there is some much crazy shit going on in a mall that he will not deal with, but if, for example, you are an 8 year old kid interviewing people who work at the mall by asking them their favorite joke, he will become billy-bad-ass and tell you that is not allowed.
I walk past the mall security office...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #5
5. Paid Parking
Ok, I understand not every mall has this, but it must be brought up since for about 7 years the nicer mall in my area (Norfolk, VA), had a parking garage you had to pay to use.
If I am spending money in your mall, and you won’t allow validation, then OMGWTF. And if I work in your mall, helping bring in customers to spend money, then DBLOMGWTF.
And if I am paying to park...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #6
6. Abercrombie and Fitch
This one should be obvious to anyone. Years ago (1996), A&F seemed to make decent clothes that lasted. I have a belt and a shirt from that era that still work great. And then there was the A&F Quarterly. I don’t need to say any more about that.
Fast forward to 10 years later. Bitches, you make rags sold by anorexic snotty teenagers who are destined to be...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #7
7. The Cell Phone Kiosk
Kiosks in general are the bane of walking through most malls. I thought that now I worked in an outdoor shopping environment I would be free from them, but alas.
Most of these cell phone kiosks are staffed by skeeze bag, used car salesman failures who are in their 20’s, wear cheap dress shirts with unflattering, gaudy ties and constantly ask me who my current...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #8
8. The Kiddie Play Place
The giant food pieces. The pirate ship. The submerged serpent. Through my 2+ years of having an employer who operates in malls I have seen all these scenarios. Places set aside for kids to play in the mall.
OK. For starters, malls are not for children. They do not have money; we do not want them there.
I understand that if you have cursed our society by having children...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #9
9. “Sir, let me show you something!”
Why in the hell does every mall have these people attacking me as I walk past? I do not need skin care products from the Dead Sea. I don’t feel that it has life rejuvenating properties. I have been to the Dead Sea. It looks, um, dead. Barren desert, Jews, Palestinians. ALl these things come to mind when I think Dead Sea.
If you see me every...
Top 10 Things a Mall Does Not Need, #10
10. SAMPLE!? SAMPLE?! SAMPLE?!
Typically, upon entering a mall food court, I have some idea of what I want to eat. Even if I don’t, I do have an idea of what I do not want to eat. The “do not want” is bad Chinese food.
Therefore, yelling SAMPLE!? SAMPLE?! SAMPLE?! as I walk to my pre-decided destination will not entice me to buy your wares. Even if I decide to partake in said...
To the lazy bitch who while perfectly able to open...
you are a lazy bitch.
